Well folks, I am too tired to fight this depression that has become increasingly worse following the loss of my daughter. The Bible tells me that the battle belongs to the Lord, and I am giving it to Him. I made an appointment with my doctor to discuss increasing my Citalopram, hopefully not much, just enough to help me. I am sinking. Every day has become a challenge to endure; simple tasks are huge right now (as evidenced by the mess I am slowly cleaning up in my house). My sleeping and appetite are all thrown off, and I am back to not wanting to go anywhere or see anyone. I cry…a lot…often suddenly. The physical pain of this loss is often overwhelming. Even my stupid anxiety is creeping up on me, though no panic attacks…PRAISE GOD. This little dose of Citalopram remains magical for my panic, but it’s not enough for my current state of depression.
I know God is with me and helping me through this; His presence is felt and I know He is giving me peace. Unfortunately my body chemistry is giving me hell, and I need help.
If you’re reading this, please say a prayer for me. I am going to the doctor on Thursday, Sept. 10 at 10:10 (wow…that’s kinda cool!) and I will be getting my flu shot at that time as well…please pray I do not have side effects, as Friday the 11th is my birthday and we are going to Medieval Times on Saturday the 12th, and I really need to both go to the doctor about this as soon as possible AND not be feeling all crappy and anxiety-ridden on Saturday. Thank you.
